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It could happen to you: one day you're toasting your future marriage alongside your fiancé and your best friend, the next, your bestie is sabotaging your bachelorette party by inviting several of her sorority sisters without your permission. While it's impossible to be the perfect maid of honor or best man, sometimes imperfection can cause a bride or groom more grief than it's worth. Here's how to fire your maid of honor or best man before things get too out of hand.
Take a Second to Stop and Think
Remember, it's never smart to make a serious decision while angry. Step away from the situation, cool off, and return to making a choice when you feel you are able to be more objective. Keep in mind that if you decide to remove someone from a prominent role in your wedding, you risk losing that friend forever. While you may find that the person whose duties you wish to relieve is actually happy about the change of fortune, you're more likely to end up with a very angry and hurt used-to-be friend. If you're not okay with this outcome, bite your tongue and cross your fingers that the situation will sort itself out. If you are okay with potentially losing a friend, read on.
The Soft Ball: Make Up a Story
This works well if you've chosen a friend over a family member for the coveted spot in your bridal party. Team up with your family member and explain the situation, asking him or her to take the fall should the person you fire come around with any questions. Once your family member has agreed, approach your about-to-be-fired Best Person and spill the story. Reveal that your family member is extremely upset about not being chosen for the top slot in your bridal party. Convince your soon-to-be-former Best Person that the most honorable thing to do would be to allow the "wronged" family member to take the top position. Assure him or her that by relinquishing this role, more people will be happy the long run. The key to this strategy is always making the person who's being fired feel like the bigger, better person.
The Hard Ball: Be Direct
I'm guessing that your Best Person knows he or she stepped over the line, so you're not going to be causing too many issues by just being straight up. Allow for an explanation, but stand firm with your ultimate decision. When your Best Person whines and complains, calmly share your reasons once again. Maintain that while you'll allow the person to remain in your bridal party, you just can't deal with having him or her running the show. At this point, one or two things will happen. One: your former Best Person will understand, step down, and resume general bridal party duties or two: your former Best Person will be so offended that he or she will drop out of the bridal party altogether.
The Curve Ball: Frame ?Em
Let's say that you're pretty sure that your Best Man plans on having strippers at your bachelor party even though you've said over and over again that you're not into that sort of thing. If you think something's out of whack, try to catch him in the act of going against your wishes. Enlist one of your groomsman to forward you any emails that discuss plans that are opposed to what you originally decided upon. Pretend that the email was accidentally sent to you and fire your Best Man on the grounds that he was acting in his own best interest.